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Editor Pat's Issue #14 intro is sponsored by...you!
Because without you, there wouldn't be a LitVision Press, and we wouldn't
have gone thousands of dollars into debt to publish our first book:
Bukowski Never Did This: A Year in the Life of an Underground Writer
& His Family, by Jack Saunders
There's still time to buy holiday gifts for your loved ones:
Order Bukowski Never Did This from Out Your Backdoor books, or....
Order it from Amazon dot com, so the corporate bastards start putting
some of their poisonous advertising dollars behind our book.
Thanks to the holidays and a general lethargy caused
by our extreme obesity, chronic depression, and
rapidly deteriorating intellect, your humble editors
won’t burden you with issue #15 of LitVision until
early January. So, savor Issue #14, read it all, and
when you’ve finished, read it again.
Or…do everything I’ve been commanding you to do for
the past few months. Mainly, purchase Bukowski Never
Did This, which is now available from the Beast,
Amazon dot com. I gotta tell you, the book’s been up
there for a few weeks, and not one person has
purchased a copy from their site yet. How do you
think that makes Editor Pat feel? He’s crying, on the
inside. Referring to himself as he-I-we… Someone
please buy Buk Never Did This by Jack Saunders from
Amazon so I can stop obsessing and go back to my
normal schedule of shit to be worried about. Another
alternative is to buy it from the wondrous folks at
Out Your Backdoor books (not an anal sex site, sorry)
Speaking of Bukowski Never Did This, comrade Jen
Michalski at JMWW quarterly lit-zine did an in-depth
review of our book! Even though Jen slaps me around
with such compliments as “sloppy editing,” “mess of a
book,” etc etc, this is still my favorite review so
far, mainly because I’m one of those twisted
masochists who enjoys pain! Another reason I don’t
feel bad about this less-than-flattering review is
that Jen also disses Bukowski, and completely ignores
Kerouac by calling Saunders the first practitioner of
literary typewriting. We here at LitVision will
swallow our pride as we avoid declaring jihad on
JMWW…perhaps someday I will challenge the entire crew
at JMWW to mud wrestle Zeke, me, and Kelly.
Wouldn’t you pervvy Zygote in My Coffee readers just
love that!?
On another crushingly sad note, Editor Pat recently
received this email from someone we will refer to as
“Lisa Anonymous”…
“Hi. My story and picture is STILL up on your
website. When I submitted my story and pic, I didn't
know it would be up there that long. Can you PLEASE
PLEASE PLEASE remove both from you site. I am now a
college professor and would prefer my students not
find me on the internet. Thank you very much!”
-Lisa Anonymous
Ah, LitVision faithful…all eight of you…I am NOT
making this up! That is verbatim what she wrote me,
except for the subtle name change. Of course, I did
as she requested, but it kinda rubbed me the wrong
way. Self-censorship for All in 2006!
I am too sickened and disgusted by my fellow humans
to go on. Fuck you all! Thankfully, there are some
things to cheer Editor Pat up. Jack Saunders’
Christmas kumquat tree is one of them. This effort
puts Charlie Brown to shame!
Two more photos bring a smile to my face. The
subjects will remain anonymous for their own
protection. One’s a booth photo of two poets who’ve
appeared in LitVision before, and the other is a
digitally dehanced photo of a super cool little
baby!! Not my baby, but I know whose baby this is!
Yes I do, yes I do!
Lastly, I need to give a shout out to LitVision
editor Zeke Iddon. His special brand of humor…I mean,
humour…is always, well, special. Lately Zeke has
started a new blog on the evil Google network, and
suffered a terrible revenge at the hands of the
Nigerian email scam artists that he successfully
scammed out of a fistful of euros, using only his
wits, email, and the British/Nigerian postal service.
Zeke, we salute you, and hope you survive the
spammers' revenge. Just eh, don’t put up any links to
LitVision for a while, uh, will yehs?
And to all of you out there, who have read this far,
have a safe and wonderful non-threatening
non-denominational holiday season, and I’ll see you
soon after 2006 rears its pretty little head.
Your Gallant Editor,
Patrick Simonelli
LitVision Press
editor@litvision.org
